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	<title>Source of Miracles &#187; spiritual experiments</title>
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	<description>stop seeking.  what you are looking for is looking through you :)</description>
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		<title>8-Coil Shakti &#8211; Part 3: Brain Reboot?</title>
		<link>http://sourceofmiracles.com/8-coil-shakti-part-3-brain-reboot/</link>
		<comments>http://sourceofmiracles.com/8-coil-shakti-part-3-brain-reboot/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 10 Jan 2008 23:09:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>elamb</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[feature]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[god helmet]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mind]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[spiritual experiments]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[spiritual hacking]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[8-coil]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[shakti]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://sourceofmiracles.com/8-coil-shakti-part-3-brain-reboot/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[7 Jan. 08 &#8211; 12-1am (? &#8211; fell asleep) Location of coils: Temporal Lobe Duration: (?) Signal type: Hippocampus signals 40Hz Alternating Modulated (fast alteration) (volume increased to 86% output) Overview: This was my second session with the Shakti 8-coil device. Once AGAIN, I fell asleep. But unlike the last time I woke up feeling&#8230; [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>7 Jan. 08 &#8211; 12-1am (? &#8211; fell asleep)</p>
<p><strong>Location of coils:</strong>  Temporal Lobe<br />
<strong>Duration:</strong>  (?)<br />
<strong>Signal type:</strong>  Hippocampus signals  40Hz Alternating Modulated (fast alteration)<br />
(volume increased to 86% output)</p>
<p><strong>Overview: </strong><br />
This was my second session with the Shakti 8-coil device.  Once AGAIN, I fell asleep.  But unlike the last time I woke up feeling&#8230; above average mental clarity.  I don&#8217;t recall any odd dreams but I felt very well rested almost like my brain had been rebooted.</p>
<p><strong>Brain Reboot</strong><br />
If you&#8217;ve ever dealt with a Windows operating system (particularly PRE-XP), you&#8217;ll know that every now and then the system needs to be rebooted.  That is completely shutting off the computer and turning it back on.  If those legacy Windows system are not shut off every now and then you are in for a smorgusborg of delicious errors, hang time and lossed data for no damn &#8220;blue screen of death&#8221; reason.  Well, that is was I felt like happen to me.  I felt like my brain had been loaded with a bloated ineffecient Microsoft product that had been running without a reboot for about two months too long.  I felt (perhaps unreasonably so) like my brain could calculate anything.  Mentally, on that day was like the skinny guy that works out for two weeks into a New Years resolution, gets a pump and starts to puff his chest out in front of the babes! </p>
<p>I believe the Shakti had something to do with it, but not totally conviced yet.  So I will mark this session as &#8220;Do Over&#8221;.  </p>
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		<title>8-Coil Shakti &#8211; Part 2: Shakti Do Over</title>
		<link>http://sourceofmiracles.com/8-coil-shakti-part-2-shakti-do-over/</link>
		<comments>http://sourceofmiracles.com/8-coil-shakti-part-2-shakti-do-over/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 10 Jan 2008 22:46:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>elamb</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[god helmet]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[spiritual experiments]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[spiritual hacking]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[8-coil shakti]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[shakti]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[todd murphy]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://sourceofmiracles.com/8-coil-shakti-part-2-shakti-do-over/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[4 Jan. 08 &#8211; 12-1am (? &#8211; fell asleep) Location of coils: Temporal Lobe Duration: (?) Signal type: Hippocampus signals 40Hz Alternating Modulated (fast alteration) (volume increased to 86% output) Overview: I consider this a tainted session since it was conducted while I was completely exhausted. I was literally falling asleep as I was figuring [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>4 Jan. 08 &#8211; 12-1am (? &#8211; fell asleep)</p>
<p><strong>Location of coils:</strong>  Temporal Lobe<br />
<strong>Duration:</strong>  (?)<br />
<strong>Signal type:</strong>  Hippocampus signals  40Hz Alternating Modulated (fast alteration)<br />
(volume increased to 86% output)</p>
<p><strong>Overview: </strong><br />
I consider this a tainted session since it was conducted while I was completely exhausted.  I was literally falling asleep as I was figuring the system out.  </p>
<p><strong>Initial Sensation:</strong><br />
I anticipated the initial sensation that I&#8217;ve read others experience after only a few seconds or minutes of Shakti activiatation:</p>
<blockquote><p>&#8220;I did feel a sensation of expansion and peacefulness in my heart only seconds after I put the (hippocampal) signal on. &#8230; It felt like I was taking a contraction out of my brain. I am looking forward to taking out more of this contracted state&#8230;&#8221; &#8212; <a href="http://www.shaktitechnology.com/rotating/8_Coil_shakti_testimonials.htm">shakti technology testimonials</a></p></blockquote>
<p>I was hesitant even to put the device over my head for fear of being catapulted into an experience that would topple my little world like a house of cards in the middle of Chicago.  I was in my computer room feeling like Neo about to take the &#8220;Red Pill&#8221; with Todd Murphy (this devices inventor) as a real life Morpheus about to eject me out of the Matrix for good (I&#8217;ve got a pretty awesome imagination).  </p>
<p>Alas, I had no such luck.  I didn&#8217;t feel anything.  I put the device on, configured it for Hippocampus signal over the temporal lobe and felt nothing for about 10 minutes while I laid in my pitch black room.  The next thing I new it was morning.  The alarm clock was blasting and the Shakti tentacles were tossed haphazardly to the side of the bed.  </p>
<p><strong>Conclusion:</strong><br />
I think I was just too tired.  The instructions indicate that you should wait for 36 hours before staping in again.  I don&#8217;t normally follow instructions, but in this case I&#8217;ve decided to play it safe.  In the middle of the day, 5 Jan 08, I had strange ache in my right temporal lobe.  Its strange because I don&#8217;t normally get such localized headaches on that side of my head.  I may have been dehydrated.  I decided to count this session as a do over.</p>
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		<title>8-Coil Shakti &#8211; Part 1: Intro</title>
		<link>http://sourceofmiracles.com/8-coil-shakti-part-1-intro/</link>
		<comments>http://sourceofmiracles.com/8-coil-shakti-part-1-intro/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 08 Jan 2008 14:57:35 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>elamb</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[TMS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[god helmet]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[integral hacking]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[spiritual experiments]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[8-Coil Shakti - Part 1: Intro]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[persinger]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[shakti]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[todd murphy]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://sourceofmiracles.com/8-coil-shakti-part-1-intro/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;ve been real excited about Persinger&#8217;s and Todd Murphy&#8217;s research. Persinger is a cognitive neuroscientist who has been doing research on the effects of magnetic fields on the human brian. Todd Murphy is an interesting character. He is a Buddhist theologian turned researching behavioral scientist. Both are gathering data on the affects of magnetic fields [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I&#8217;ve been real excited about Persinger&#8217;s and Todd Murphy&#8217;s research.  Persinger is a cognitive neuroscientist who has been doing research on the effects of magnetic fields on the human brian.  <a href="http://www.mysterious-america.net/interviewwithtod.html">Todd Murphy is an interesting character</a>.  He is a Buddhist theologian turned researching behavioral scientist.  Both are gathering data on the affects of magnetic fields on the brain.  Specific magnetic fields applied to different areas of the brain produce various states of consciousness.  I&#8217;m not sure what it means to science or spirituality but I&#8217;m anxious to find out.</p>
<p>So far neo-atheist have been using Persinger&#8217;s research as proof that all mystical experiences are not real because they can be produced.  Surprisingly, Persinger does not feel this way.  He has in fact tested psychically talented people to see the affects of magnetic fields on them.</p>
<p>Todd Murphy created what he calls the 8-coil Shakti based on Persinger&#8217;s research.  The 8-coil Shakti is an affordable, homemade device that sends weak magnetic fields into the brain to produce similar experiences&#8230; though the technology is different from what Persinger uses.</p>
<p>I decided to get one and test it out.</p>
<p><strong>Intergral Persinger:</strong><br />
He organized the Behavioral Neuroscience Program at Laurentian University, which became one of the first to integrate chemistry, biology and psychology. &#8212; <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Persinger">wiki</a></p>
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		<title>Religions Affects on Altered States on Consciousness</title>
		<link>http://sourceofmiracles.com/religions-affects-on-altered-states-on-consciousness/</link>
		<comments>http://sourceofmiracles.com/religions-affects-on-altered-states-on-consciousness/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 28 Apr 2007 07:15:17 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>elamb</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Big Mind]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Integral Naked]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mystical experiences]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[religion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[spiritual belief]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[spiritual experiments]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wilber]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://sourceofmiracles.com/religions-affects-on-altered-states-on-consciousness/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I have been studying religions and mystical experiences for years seeking &#8220;truth&#8221;. The pinnacle of what I have come across so far is Ken Wilber&#8217;s Integral Spirituality. Although I don&#8217;t yet fully &#8220;grok&#8221; his stuff on metaphysics, his ideas on religions, science and states of consciousness are GROUND BREAKING! For one thing he has what [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I have been studying religions and mystical experiences for years seeking &#8220;truth&#8221;.</p>
<p>The pinnacle of what I have come across so far is Ken Wilber&#8217;s Integral Spirituality.  Although I don&#8217;t yet fully &#8220;grok&#8221; his stuff on metaphysics, his ideas on religions, science and states of consciousness are GROUND BREAKING!</p>
<p>For one thing he has what is known as the Wilber-Combs Lattice</p>
<p><img alt="wilber combs" title="wilber combs" src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/29/43745218_76b4bcdfc7.jpg?v=0" /></p>
<p>The Wilber-Combs Lattice is a matrix that maps states of consciousness with types of religious belief.</p>
<p>I&#8217;ve written a little blurb about this on my post &#8220;<a href="http://sourceofmiracles.com/what-is-an-empirical-spiritualist-experiences-as-the-answer/">What is an Empirical Spiritualist</a>&#8221;<br />
I have been in several religions, faiths and/or societies (but currently hold no allegiance to any one organization).  I have had experiences with almost all.  Each of these experiences have been colored by the culture, beliefs, dogma of the organization I was in at the time.</p>
<p>Here are some examples of religions that influenced by spiritual experience:</p>
<blockquote><p><strong><a href="http://www.therockchurch.org">Christian</a> </strong>- as a penecostal I was worshiping Jesus surrounded by some of the praising, shouting congregation and I felt an energy bolt going through my body.  A penecostal might call this the holy ghost (aka Holy Spirit).</p>
<p><strong><a href="http://sourceofmiracles.com/www.eckankar.com">Eckankar</a></strong> &#8211; I was in a state of great peace and saw/felt a blue light shine down on me.  Eckist call this one part of the &#8220;Light and Sound of God&#8221; (aka Holy Spirit)</p>
<p><a href="http://in.integralinstitute.org/"><strong>Integral Spirituality</strong></a> &#8211; After a session with a Zen <a title="Genpo Roshi" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dennis_Genpo_Merzel">Buddhist Genpo</a> Roshi conducting what is called a Big Mind exercise I felt a profound (overwhelming) oneness with anything I looked at.</p></blockquote>
<p>Each experience has been shaped and interpreted by the culture/religion/faith I was apart of at the time.  This in NO WAY INVALIDATES the phenomenon.  It did happen.  They were very real and in some cases have changed the course of my life.</p>
<p>The religion/culture/society in which I live gives me the language to explain what has happened and simultaneously shapes the experience.   Sometimes the language is to crude to give an effective account.  I believe that many times the original message gets &#8220;lost in translation&#8221;.  Many religions have been founded and shaped on these crude interpretations of real experiences.</p>
<p>The source of the phenomenon is a different kind of discussion.  While we might agree that the phenomenon happend in the brain (or perhaps merely recorded there) from the &#8216;mind&#8217; we may disagree on whether the source was from subtle energies and/or spirit.  We can only theorize and assume what the source of my phenomenon is.  And we can only prove the orgins to ourselves as we can not share PHYSICAL evidence of anything happening with electroencophalographs and other tools used to measure the activity of the brain.  Those tools are too crude to tell us anything beyond the brain.  Whatever we believe the hows and whys are, it is very important to realize the context to which these phenomenon occur.  For example, if I was scitzoprenic and my dog was telling me to kill my landlord, that experience may be real to me, but the phenomenon occuring is dangerous and more than likely pathological.  The best way to make a clear judgment  on  any interpretation is to look at all (or as many as possible) sides: physical history, cultural background, stage and state of consciousness.  All are important factors in examining an inner experience.  <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AQAL">AQAL</a> is a perfect map for such an examination.<br />
Language/Semantics/culture/religion and their contextual meaning shape not only altered states of consciousness but &#8220;normal&#8221; states as well. As in a dream, we construct the meaning as well as the happenings of the experience consciously, subconsciously and/or unconsciously.</p>
<p>I suspect that our perspective is completely relative to our constantly shifting meaning.  Ego, states of consciousness, and stages of conscious experiences do have some level of reality and so they do deserve our attetion and management but the only *<strong>absolute</strong> is Being, Here, NOW.   All else is real ONLY relative to something else.  The &#8220;suchness&#8221; of the moment is really all there is.</p>
<p>*The only absolute is being, here now (nowness, the suchness of this single moment &#8211; or perhaps the only absolute is NO-absolute or as Wilber says the combination of Form &#038; Emptiness &#8211; nondual).</p>
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		<item>
		<title>Mystical Experience and Interpretation (the W-C Lattice at a glance)</title>
		<link>http://sourceofmiracles.com/what-is-an-empirical-spiritualist-experiences-as-the-answer/</link>
		<comments>http://sourceofmiracles.com/what-is-an-empirical-spiritualist-experiences-as-the-answer/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 18 Jan 2007 22:27:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>elamb</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[mystical experiences]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[religion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[spiritual]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[spiritual belief]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[spiritual experiments]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[unbound]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://sourceofmiracles.com/what-is-an-empirical-spiritualist-experiences-as-the-answer/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#8220;I am an empirical spiritualist because the only way one can know truth is by experience. Observing with our eyes, sensing with our intuition, feeling with our emotions: these are all necessary parts of discerning truth. We must trust them. That is how God communicates with us, by providing emotional, visual and intuitive information qued [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<blockquote><p>&#8220;I am an empirical spiritualist because the only way one can know truth is by experience. Observing with our eyes, sensing with our intuition, feeling with our emotions: these are all necessary parts of discerning truth. We must trust them. That is how God communicates with us, by providing emotional, visual and intuitive information qued to the empirical experiences of nature.&#8221; &#8212; <a href="http://www.unhinderedliving.com/empirical.html">Center for Unhindered Living</a></p></blockquote>
<p>This is similar to how I feel about how to attain &#8220;truth&#8221;.  Some would immediately discount things like &#8220;out of body experiences&#8221; and even lucid dreams as having little or no value and then call themselves &#8220;scientists&#8221;.  A real scientist looks for proof prior to making hasty assumptions about what is and is not probable/possible. </p>
<p>On the other hand, I don&#8217;t instantly believe or agree with everything I hear preached in the pulpit  or claimed in books.  I like to experience things for myself (if possible) prior to making an assumption.</p>
<p>Jesus, Buddha and other enlightened beings actually had direct contact and experience.  Their teachings have been taken and interpreted by the masses and the results have been social stability at best and subversive population and resource control and manipulation at worse.</p>
<p><strong>The problem with Direct Experience: Interpretation</strong> </p>
<p>Because interpretation plays such a huge part in how we use what we know, I don&#8217;t believe that even direct experience is a &#8220;cure all&#8221; for the current human condition.  Anyone can have a phenomenological experience, and their interpretation of that experience will be based on their current psychological-sociological (and unfortunately pathological) stage. </p>
<p><img title="levels of consciousness" alt="levels of consciousness" src="http://sourceofmiracles.com/levelofconsciousness.jpg" /> </p>
<p>How a person interprets those experiences can be seen in the Wilber-Combs Lattice:</p>
<p><img title="Wilber Combs Lattice " alt="Wilber Combs Lattice " src="http://sourceofmiracles.com/wilber-combs.jpg" /></p>
<p>The lattice shows the spiritual/religious belief level (or type of belief) a person can have ranging from Archaic to Integral (this is taken from <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stages_of_faith_development">James Fowler&#8217;s research on stages of faith</a>).  The top of the W-C Lattice shows the type of phenomenological experience a person can have.</p>
<p>A person at an Archaic level can have a phenomenological experience (i.e. feel a holy presence, feel one with all things ect), however their interpretation of the experience will be much difference than someone at say and Integral level.  A person on the lower end of the W-C Lattice might come away from an experience of oneness and suddenly think that they are a Messiah or even God. </p>
<p>So a person such as Vernon Wayne Howell (a.k.a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Koresh">David Koresh</a>), may have indeed had visions, however the interpretation is determined by the psychological make up of the individual.  Vernon&#8217;s beliefs and vision (an <span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA">alleged</span> phenomenological experience he had while on a trip to Israel) guided him to take control of the <em><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Branch_Davidians">Branch Davidian</a> Seventh-day Adventists</em>, break a bunch of federal laws and get <span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA">subsequently</span> killed by the U.S. <a title="Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms" href="http://sourceofmiracles.com/wiki/Bureau_of_Alcohol,_Tobacco_and_Firearms">Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms</a> (BATF) when the Branch Davidian compound was raided. </p>
<p>*<em>There are many variables that can be considered which led up to the terrible <span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA">tragedy</span> that took the lives of 70+ victims (including children), and I won&#8217;t disrespect these people by claiming that faith and religion had everything to do with their deaths.</em>  <em>For one, there were alot of mistakes made by the U.S. government.</em></p>
<p><strong>From a different Perspective</strong></p>
<p>When ever we have experiences it is imperative that we keep them in context.  Merely keeping all phenomenological experiences in perspective (this doesn&#8217;t at all mean ignoring them or devaluing them) we can have the wisdom on how to act.  Having perspective means acknowledging biases, assumptions and psychological/physical make up that come from our social upbringing and genetics.  Unfortunately, this is a big hurdle for many religious traditions as they claim exclusive rights to all truth and perspectives leaving no room for evaluation and questions. </p>
<p><em>Pathological disorders and phenomenological experiences are a whole different ball game.  The truly ignorant would put both in the same category (very 18th century &#8220;lets lobotomize and shock everyone until they think like us&#8221; kind of dogma).</em></p>
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		<title>Big Mind Transpersonal Experience &#8211; Genpo Roshi at Dharmapalooza 2006</title>
		<link>http://sourceofmiracles.com/big-mind-transpersonal-experience-genpo-roshi-at-dharmapalooza-2006/</link>
		<comments>http://sourceofmiracles.com/big-mind-transpersonal-experience-genpo-roshi-at-dharmapalooza-2006/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 08 Nov 2006 17:02:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>elamb</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Big Mind]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mystical experiences]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[spiritual experiments]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[unbound]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[genpo roshi]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://sourceofmiracles.com/big-mind-transpersonal-experience-genpo-roshi-at-dharmapalooza-2006/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;ve written about what I got from Genpo Roshi&#8217;s Big Mind technique when I went on the 28th of Oct 06 at the Shambhala Center in Boulder, CO. But I didn&#8217;t write about some internal experiences I had. After sitting at the feet of Zen Master Genpo Roshi at Dharmapalooza, I did have a couple [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img src="http://www.shambhalamountain.org/images/programs/bigmind_genpo4.jpg" alt="genpo roshi" /><br />
<em /></p>
<p><em>I&#8217;ve written about what I got from <a href="http://sourceofmiracles.com/ego-inc-genpo-roshis-big-mind/">Genpo Roshi&#8217;s Big Mind</a> technique when I went on the 28th of Oct 06 at the </em><a href="http://www.google.com/search?hs=isK&#038;hl=en&#038;lr=&#038;client=firefox-a&#038;rls=org.mozilla%3Aen-US%3Aofficial_s&#038;q=Shambhala+boulder&#038;btnG=Search" target="_self">Shambhala Center in Boulder</a><em>, CO.  But I didn&#8217;t write about some internal experiences I had.<br />
</em><br />
After sitting at the feet of Zen Master Genpo Roshi at Dharmapalooza, I did have a couple transpersonal experience.</p>
<p>I was actually feeling very bad that day.  I had a migraine headache (dehydration from the previous day) that made body weak.  It was as if my body was using all of its energy to repair what felt like brain dehydration.<br />
As Genpo took us through the process of allowing the different facets of the ego to talk in the first person (i.e. anger, the victim, the damaged self, doubt &#8211; <a href="http://sourceofmiracles.com/ego-inc-genpo-roshis-big-mind/">see my description of Big Mind technique if you are not familiar with it</a>) I noticed that my dis-ease felt almost unbearable when we spoke as a negative aspect of the ego.  Anger was the worse.  But when we were positive or nondual the pain would subside or even completely vanish until I opened my eyes.  But that wasn&#8217;t the mystical part.</p>
<p>As he release us for a break, he told us to remain in Big Mind (big mind is a nondual, all knowing mind that has no opposite &#8211; <a href="http://www.cwg.org/">like direct interface with G.O.D</a> &#8211; you access it by allowing it to speak as it self).  As I took a walk down Spruce then 15th street to stretch my legs, I started to feel like I was experiencing certain things directly as raw vibration.<br />
This experience was happening even through my pounding migraine.  It was as if the vail of ego was lifted at times; as if the vail of ego was now a partially cloudy sky letting streams of brilliant warm sunlight through whereas before it was <a href="http://www.lyricstime.com/fishbone-psychologically-overcast-lyrics.html">psychological overcast</a>.</p>
<p>I could look at a shadow from a tree and be overwhelmed with the beauty of its &#8220;suchness&#8221;.  I felt as if my sanity was holding on by a thread.  At any moment I could completely lose it and burst into tears of joy.  At any moment I could observe a leaf swept up by the wind and my body might be suddenly racked with convulsive sobs of happiness.</p>
<p>The bliss was almost painful and I had to focus on my bastard of an ego just to retain my composure.</p>
<p>&#8220;I am the controller,&#8221; I kept telling myself.  The Controller was one of the facets that Genpo had taken us through.</p>
<p>At one point I looked up at the top of a church and felt like I was about to fly above it, the mild shock of the energy that struck me in the chest made me gasp and stop dead in my tracks.  The same inhale of air you take when someone splashes your with cold water.</p>
<p>I looked around to make sure no one was watching me.  From the outside looking in it probably looked like I was having a panic attack, but I was fine.  I was having a bliss attack.  As a long time spiritual practitioner I tend to bash the ego and I&#8217;m always on the look out for ways the obliterate it, but that is kind of like trying to get rid of your tongue for saying foul language.  The ego is pretty useful.  It helps us to interface with our social surroundings.<br />
It was very cool.  But it was so&#8230; <span style="text-decoration: underline">much</span> that I nearly got in my 1998 Toyota Corolla to drive as far away from Genpo and his fucking Big Mind as I could.  When Roshi started again I was able to regain my composure with ease.  I stayed the entire time with my headache getting worse and worse.<br />
At the very end, I got so sick that I decided to sit in the back for fear of puking in the Buddhist temple.  On the way home (a two hour drive), I actually felt better and started to be more afraid of losing my composure again while pumping gas or in the middle of driving.  But I did fine.<br />
As I write this, I feel the Big Mind technique has made my ego run more efficiently (if that makes any since).  When control is needed, my Controller steps in.  When anger flares up I let it voice its concerns then I let it go.  When I need advice I use Big Mind.  When suffering arises I allow it to surface and then be absorbed by the Damaged Self.<br />
Too, I have noticed how lazy I have been with my meditation.  That Big Mind session help me realize just how lame my meditation practice has been, but that was probably because we started off with a flippin&#8217; 2 hr meditation session (it would have been :45minutes but some guy named <span style="text-align: center"><span align="center" /></span><a class="body-text" href="http://in.integralinstitute.org/contributor.aspx?id=74">Vidyuddeva</a> was actually giving us instruction on how to do it properly).<br />
More than anything Big Mind has been a really good psycho-emotional gauge and compass so I know where I&#8217;m headed when egoic speed bumps and road signs like tantrums and frustration begin to approach.</p>
<p>If you have an opportunity to try <a href="http://www.bigmind.org/">Big Mind</a> go for it.  It is worth it: <a href="http://www.bigmind.org/">http://www.bigmind.org/</a><a href="http://www.bigmind.org/" /></p>
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		<title>Lucid Dreaming technique</title>
		<link>http://sourceofmiracles.com/lucid-dreaming-technique/</link>
		<comments>http://sourceofmiracles.com/lucid-dreaming-technique/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 01 Nov 2006 16:35:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>elamb</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[dreams]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[feature]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[spiritual experiments]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://sourceofmiracles.com/lucid-dreaming-technique/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Lucid Dreaming has been a challenge for me.  For over 10 years I&#8217;ve been writing my dreams down and trying to figure out how to have regular lucid dreams.  Once technique that has worked has been Laberg&#8217;s &#8220;Reality Check&#8221;.  It consists of analyzing your dreams for regular &#8220;sign posts&#8221; or recurring symbols, then you make a [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Lucid Dreaming has been a challenge for me.  For over 10 years I&#8217;ve been writing my dreams down and trying to figure out how to have regular lucid dreams. </p>
<p>Once technique that has worked has been Laberg&#8217;s &#8220;Reality Check&#8221;.  It consists of analyzing your dreams for regular &#8220;sign posts&#8221; or recurring symbols, then you make a list.  You then train your mind to respond by asking &#8220;is this a dream?&#8221; when ever you see the objects you&#8217;ve put on the list throughout the course of the day.  By establishing that pattern of behavior in waking life, the next time you see the sign post in your dream you will ask, &#8220;Is this a dream?&#8221; and wake up.</p>
<p>It seems that the more intensely and consistently you focus on the question &#8220;is this a dream?&#8221; the more likely you will have a lucid dream.  So I will try to think about the &#8220;feeling&#8221; of being in a dream into every waking moment of my daily life.  My theory is that I will have lucid dreams more regularly.</p>
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		<title>10% of your Total Attention per hour: Some Results</title>
		<link>http://sourceofmiracles.com/10-of-your-total-attention-per-hour-some-results/</link>
		<comments>http://sourceofmiracles.com/10-of-your-total-attention-per-hour-some-results/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 01 Nov 2006 16:25:08 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>elamb</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[feature]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[spiritual experiments]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[spiritual hacking]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://sourceofmiracles.com/10-of-your-total-attention-per-hour-some-results/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[First of all here is how I&#8217;ve been doing with this experiment: I am able to dedicate 7 minutes of intense focus in every hour to meditation (I focus on stillness sometimes with a little creative visualizaiton other times).  At home, I have totally slacked off.  I have been able to use conscious action when I&#8217;m with [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>First of all here is how I&#8217;ve been doing with <a href="http://sourceofmiracles.com/10-of-your-total-attention/">this experiment</a>:</p>
<p>I am able to dedicate 7 minutes of intense focus in every hour to meditation (I focus on stillness sometimes with a little creative visualizaiton other times).  At home, I have totally slacked off.  I have been able to use conscious action when I&#8217;m with my daughters or doing chores, but I really need to intensify this practice at home.</p>
<p>What have I discovered?</p>
<p>I have had a couple of interesting experiences.  I had a couple of meditation sessions in which I felt a very pleasurable warmth <a href="http://sourceofmiracles.com/confessions-of-a-corporate-meditator-toilet-kundalini/">surging softly up my spine</a> that followed an out of body feeling in which I felt like an insubstantial single point of what I can only describe as &#8220;total acceptance&#8221;.  I&#8217;ve also been getting more familiar with my inner space.  I am familiar with the pattern of thoughts that rise up inside of me.  I can feel myself triggered emotionally by certain events.  Overall, it has been pretty enlightening.</p>
<p>My level of concentrations has increased as it has become easier to calm my mind.  I will continue this experiment for another month or so.</p>
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		<title>Confessions of a Corporate Meditator: Toilet Kundalini? part deux</title>
		<link>http://sourceofmiracles.com/confessions-of-a-corporate-meditator-toilet-kundalini-part-deux/</link>
		<comments>http://sourceofmiracles.com/confessions-of-a-corporate-meditator-toilet-kundalini-part-deux/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 09 Oct 2006 14:45:20 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>elamb</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Integral Naked]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[feature]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[spiritual experiments]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[spiritual hacking]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://sourceofmiracles.com/confessions-of-a-corporate-meditator-toilet-kundalini-part-deux/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Today on the comode I decide to recreate the feeling of bodily erection I felt in the restroom last week. It worked almost instantly with a single thought. I straightend my back, relaxed my body and mind and allowed the warmth. The key is &#8220;allowing&#8221;. The warmth is already there. The feeling seems to be [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Today on the comode I decide to recreate the feeling of bodily erection I felt in the <a href="http://sourceofmiracles.com/confessions-of-a-corporate-meditator-toilet-kundalini/">restroom last week</a>.</p>
<p>It worked almost instantly with a single thought.  I straightend my back, relaxed my body and mind and allowed the warmth.  The key is &#8220;allowing&#8221;.  The warmth is already there. The feeling seems to be a bit clouded by daily focus on other things.</p>
<p>I pumped the primer by imagining the feeling I had last time.  It was like putting a flickering match flame into a pile kerosine soaked charcoal brickettes.  The flame ignited this time much hotter and more diliberate.  You know that grin you sometimes get from a really good blow job?  That is the one that I could not wipe off my face.  It was starting to overwhelm me so I stopped.  I don&#8217;t like walking through the office building with a unhideable hard on.  The pleasure doubled me over.  Containing the joy was like trying to force light into a box.  As I focused on pulling my pants up it died down.  But as I walked back to my cubicle even the slightest thought triggered a telling grin and the beginings of a massive erection.</p>
<p>I&#8217;ll have let this play itself out when I get in a safe environment, at home, in a quiet room when the kids are asleep.</p>
<p>Amazing journey.</p>
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		<item>
		<title>Confessions of a Corporate Meditator: Toilet Kundalini?</title>
		<link>http://sourceofmiracles.com/confessions-of-a-corporate-meditator-toilet-kundalini/</link>
		<comments>http://sourceofmiracles.com/confessions-of-a-corporate-meditator-toilet-kundalini/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 05 Oct 2006 22:28:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>elamb</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Integral Naked]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[feature]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[spiritual experiments]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[spiritual hacking]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://sourceofmiracles.com/confessions-of-a-corporate-meditator-toilet-kundalini/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The toilet is where I do my best work. It is a refuge from the Dilbertesque cubicle enslavement of my corporate life. That beautiful stall housing a cool white comode. I polish the remnants of other people&#8217;s business off the seat. Usually its just splash back from the industrial strength SUCK/FLUSH of the toilet, sometimes [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>The toilet is where I do my best work.  It is a refuge from the Dilbertesque cubicle enslavement of my corporate life.  That beautiful stall housing a cool white comode.</p>
<p>I polish the remnants of other people&#8217;s business off the seat.  Usually its just splash back from the industrial strength SUCK/FLUSH of the toilet, sometimes it is piss and brown stuff&#8230; not very appetizing but a tasty refuge never the less.</p>
<p>Somehow the vibrational runoff of a thousand million shits does not bother me.  I just don&#8217;t think about it unless the smoke from a previous occupant forces me to.</p>
<p>Once I&#8217;m comfortable and have done my business, I take a few minutes to meditate.  Usually, I clear my mind completely by focusing on my breathing or that defening white noise the brain makes (what is that called).</p>
<p>Last week while performing my <a href="http://sourceofmiracles.com/10-of-your-total-attention-per-hour-some-results/">10% total attention</a> experiment on my toilet escape, I had a warm vibrant red/orange energy moving up my spine.  It felt so damn good.  Like my first erection, only on my whole body.  Then I had a sudden impression of &#8220;blessing correction&#8221;. You see, I normally try to give blessing to everyone I see at work in the form of &#8220;God, bless you.&#8221;  But a question popped in my mind, &#8220;Who is this &#8216;god&#8217; who is blessing?  Is it a pagan, symbolic image in your head that you worship? Why bless by proxy?  Bless directly from the heart.  From the heart of the God within.  That is the most honest and loving blessing you can give.&#8221;</p>
<p>I imediately wiped my ass and stopped the meditation.  There were two reasons for the abrupt stop in meditation:</p>
<p>1)  The warmth &#8220;bodily erection&#8221; (kundalini?) felt over poweringly good.  It was as if I was masterbating (something I won&#8217;t do at work on a toilet.  Just my personal preference not to do it).  The feeling was OVERPOWERING and moving toward something that would most definitely go to an uncontrolable orgasm.  Suddenly the sacntity of the bathroom was violiated by two men barging in and pissing all over the beautiful porcelain mouths on the wall.</p>
<p>2)  I was intimidated by the thought and the power of me giving blessings.  Isn&#8217;t that sacrilegious? I thought.  But how can expressing the ultimate part of me in form of thoughts/wishes and intent be bad?   How is giving a blessing from my heart of hearts any less good than simply hoping they have a nice day?</p>
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