*The book is profound if one is interested in lucid dreaming or spiritual enlightenment. It is refered to by Stephen Laberg, Ph.D, author of world renound book Lucid Dream more than once. Laberg’s mention and praise of Tenzin and Tibetan Buddhism led me to read this book.

more on tibetan yogas

Big Mind with Zen Master Genpo Roshi (dharmapalooza ’06)

Yesterday I attended Dharmapalooza hosted by Stuart Davis and featuring Zen Master Genpo Roshi.

Genpo discussed his Big Mind technique. Although “Big Mind” it is not Zen, I found it very useful in exploring all the dimesions of the self. As well as a very good compliment for Eastern enlightenment as a Western therapeutic perspective.

Here is what I got from it:

A person is a jumble of many different emotions, repressed desires and fears. There is seemingly no order in this soup of conditioned responses and (worse) no release for those we hide from the outside world.

Genpo Roshi’s Big Mind technique gives each of these feelings, fears, and passions a first person voice. Why is this powerful? It is self therapy that allows some repressed emotional mechanisms within us to have a place without conflicting or resurfacing as stress or (worse) cancer. The best way to understand how powerful this technique is is to allow some of those pent up emotions, such as Anger to speak freely in the first person. Repressing Anger (or any other emotion) is not health.

The real power is in giving each of these parts of you a title and a role. The Big Mind Technique works because it allows you to not only fully own them (instead of disassociating them or displacing them as someone else’s fault), but also organize them into efficient manageble states of shades of your self and realize that you are NOT your anger although you may have anger at times.

more details about Big Mind.

I would strongly recommend sitting in on a live Big Mind session or buying the DVD on Big Mind.

Ego, Inc: Genpo Roshi’s Big Mind

A person is a jumble of many different emotions, repressed desires and fears. There is seemingly no order in this soup of conditioned responses and (worse) no release for those we hide from the outside world.

Genpo Roshi’s Big Mind technique gives each of these feelings, fears, and passions a first person voice. Why is this powerful? It is self therapy that allows some repressed emotional mechanisms within us to have a place without conflicting or resuracing as stress or (worse) cancer. The best way to understand how powerful this technique is is to allow some of those pent up emotions, such as Anger to speak freely in the first person. Repressing Anger (or any other emotion) is not health.

The real power is in giving each of these parts of you a title and a role. The Big Mind Technique works because it allows you to not only fully own them (instead of disassociating them or displacing them as someone else’s fault), but also organize them into efficient manageble states of shades of your self.

EGO, INC

Imagine that you are not just one personality, but hundreds of personalities. You are in fact a whole corporation full of personalities each with an important task necessary to help the company stay afloat. Lets call this company Ego Incorporated. The mission is to preserve the precious “self”.

On the staff of Ego, Inc there is a security team assigned to protecting the self from the rest of the world and from itself. Security also ensures the self does not hurt others. The security teams is composed of individuals like: the Protector, the Skeptic, the Controller and Fear. Security knows that Ego, Inc has been hurt before (even by those close to the company… especially, by those close to it) so it has built WALLs and ceiling around EVERYtHING. The precious self in the middle of Ego, Inc (the precious asset) is not fond of being lock behind a wall. It conspires from the inside with staff members like Desire and Love who want to risk everything Ego, Inc has built. The self doesn’t like being locked inside with depressing employees like Loneliness and Sadness.
Other members of the Ego, Inc staff include Anger, the Victim (who does some PR work for the company every now and then), and Doubt.

Some of the sometimes neglected members include: the Inocent Child (the heart of the self), and the Damaged Self.

After taking a real hit from the outside world the Ego Inc Security team starts making not only 100 foot walls but moats and hot oil on the sides of the walls. The self with no way for genuine interaction with even the closest people in her life is left with only Dispair to talk to.

The CEO of this company is balanced with rational thought and emotional drive decides to hold a board meeting and allow each of the employees to talk. The CEO also highers consultants on to that company, Big Mind & Big Heart. They are a team who have all the answers. Big Mind and Big Heart don’t answer to anyone they are completely self sufficient. Ego Inc is actually a wholly owned subsidiary of the company Big Mind & Big Heart, who are global, beyond successful and rich beyond imagination. They have allowed Ego, Inc to run on its own to gather information for the expansion of Big Mind & Big Heart. They suggest that the company use one of its most valuable assets which they have hidden away, the Damaged Self. The Damaged Self takes on all the pain and damage that each of the employees incur. It does so openly and with total incomprehinsible compassion. It is the sum total of what some would call an unsung hero. Since the Damaged Self takes on all the hurt and all the hits and disappointment, the security team can relax some of their controls. And the self can take Joy out for a spin.

‘the secret’ on Larry King Live!

What a phenomenal opportunity to share with a world of listeners the proven concepts of creating positive, lasting change! We hope you’re able to tune in.

Thanks : WWW.PEACE.TV –Tim

Dharmapalooza 2006

Here is where I’m going today, Dharmapalooza.  Unfortunately, I can only go for one of the three days and only to hear Zen Master Genpo Roshi speak.   Next week I’ll be coming back to Boulder for a book signing with Ken Wilber on his new book Integral Spirituality.

from Stuat Davis’ blog

Bring it. Oh, eht’s ah-eddy beh’ brough-EN!! You’re all invited, Christians, Jews, Muslims, Zoroastrians, Buddhists, Hindus, Agnostics, Atheists, Sikhs, and Bahai! (Ahem. Sorry, no Scientologists). We want you all. Just bring your love and get ready to rock.

Every year, I host this special event, Dharmapalooza. We get together, meditate, learn some new stuff about love and being a human, and we party our asses off at a killer rock ‘n roll show. This year is going to be the best one ever. Are you kidding me? We have landed the ultimate special guest: Zen Master Genpo Roshi. You do not want to miss this event, and you will if you don’t secure a reservation. There are 100 spots available. No more, no less. They will go fast.

Here’s the skinny:

When: October 27, 28, and 29.
Where: Boulder, Colorado. Events will take place at the Shambhala Buddhist Center in downtown Boulder and at Trilogy Music Club (they are right across the street from each other).
How Much: $99 (US). That price includes a full day of Big Mind with Genpo Roshi, a live concert with Stuart Davis (and band) at Trilogy, and one meal. All attendees must arrange and pay for their own travel to and from Boulder, accomodations while here, transportation to all locations, and meals. The fee is due upon arrival on Friday Night, and it goes toward covering rental cost of the music club, meditation center, staff for each event, and Genpo Roshi’s travel and expenses. I am just out to break even on this one, and this is the lowest fee we can charge and still do that.

The event schedule is:

10.27 7pm, Group Dinner at Red Fish
10.28 10am, Shambhala Meditation Center, Boulder / Introduction by Stuart
10:15 Meditation
11am Lunch (on your own)
12:30pm Big Mind with Genpo Roshi
6pm Group Dinner at Trilogy (restaurant side)
8pm Stuart Davis Concert at Trilogy (music club side)
10.29 12 Noon Group Lunch at Immersive Studios, Boulder (this is where attendees get to do their thing, perform, exchange info, etc.)

To reserve a spot, email Stuart directly stating how many people will be in your party. First come, first reserve, 100 spots only. The Trilogy show will be open to the public (and you will get in free) but all other events are closed and for attendees only.

military benefits

One of my favorite bloggers, Steve Pavlina, points out some of the benefits of the military on his site.  The irony is the truth in a bold headline on a site called military.com.

The Good News 

I was in the military of 8 years.  I got out in 2003.  When I went in, in 1995, it was a step up for me.  After my mom went jail, I dropped out of high school.  In light of all the things that happend at home, school just was not important to me.  I’ll spare you the “I’m a victim boo-hoo-hoo, poor little me” story, but the military turned my whole life around. 

I’ve always had some degree of self-discipline, but submiting to external discipline was something that came way late for me.  I rarely did anything I thought was stupid.  The military pointed me in the right direction, sometimes stupid things are necessary (even if it is just to learn).  I used the Air Force as a stepping stone to get a degree and lots of certifications.  I now have a really good job, have started a business and I am the first in about four generations to own a house.

I know some of you are thinking, “that is pretty pathetic.  I got a Masters degree when I was five years old, I own four houses, one for each time zone,” but believe it or not there are some people that have to start at a lower level socio-economic circumstance, standard and (more importantly) consciousness than you. 

In this stage of human development (consciousness), human beings need the military and yes, even war.  Why do I think war is necessary?  Well, I’m not saying that is necessarily an over all GOOD thing.  Besides auto insurance, war is probably the greatest atrocity humanity could ever submit to.  I feel we (all sentient beings) are one, so war is like suicide or self mutilation.  But at this point in human evolution it is a step in the right direction.  Every person, group and nation goes through sequential levels of consciousness.  There has been interesting research done on this, check out spiral dynamics and integral theories of psychology for more info.

The Bad News

For young people thinking of going in, I’d say just be aware of what you are doing.  You are betting on your life.  You are rolling the dice with your life as a bargaining chip.  Yes, there are excellent benefits and (like me) you might feel it is a step up for you.  

When you join, you take an oath to “defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic”.  That sounds really noble, but when you are in a war zone you are not worried about anything except your survival and maybe the guy next to you.  Patriotism, politics and all that other BULLSHIT goes out the window.  You will also make and oath to ”obey the orders of the President of the United States”.  As a soldier, airman, seaman or Marine, you may not agree with anything the current administration says or does.  You might even think that they are self-serving, lying, election stealing, idiots who are actually domestic enemies that are unraveling the principals of the very U.S. Constitution you have sworn to protect…   

I’m not saying don’t go in.  I’m saying give it some thought.

Why I got out

I was in Afganistan when I decided to get out.  After circling the run way to avoid anti-aircraft fire from the surrounding mountains, the subsequent briefing on “land mines everywhere” was what changed my mind about re-enlisting.  I missed my daughter first steps while deployed and I decided I would not miss anything else.  When I got back to the States, the operations officer mentioned that if I could go to Iraq only a month fresh from being in the middle east.  So I didn’t re-enlist.

I actually had it good.  I’d been in Saudi Arabia (not my favorite place in the world) for four months then got forward deployed (by my own choice) to Afganistan to help the troops for only two weeks.  Some of those guys (mostly army) were there for a whole year.  Honestly, there is no explicitive that is corrupt enough to describe how messed up that place is.  My heart goes out to the Afgan people (especially the kids).

What is worse, the Army is so stretched that they are sending troops back only months after being in Iraq for a year (I personally know at least two people that this has happened to). 

I recently found out my sister (in the Navy) volunteered to go to Iraq.  I told her my story but that girl never listens to me.         

Radiant Heart of Gold

Radiant heart of gold

With burning bliss and light

Shining through the vail of self

And the souls darkest night

Radiant heart infectious with ”face

Cracking” smiles and viral bliss

Rippling a glowing ever present

Momentary nowness

this moment is a miracle

My Religious/Spiritual Journey

I’ve had an interesting spiritual journey. When I was between the ages of 7-11 there was no reason to rationalize religion, meaning, truth, spirituality ect. I just happily knew that all was well. There was an innocent, unchallenged knowing of infinity and all things possible.

I think that all went down the tubes between the ages of 12-13. I had some sort of breakdown. I started really thinking about the problems in the world. I started to blame humanity for all suffering (the planet, plants, animals and of course other humans). I started to really wonder about life. I wondered if life was even worth living because everything seemed wrong. Things were bad at home, but my struggle was more internal. I was depressed and hungry for a knowledge that seemed non-existent. If there was anytime in my life that I could have commited suicide, this would have been it.

Between 13-14 years of age, I started going to my best friend’s Southern Baptist church. The moment I started reading the bible I was addicted to the words in red. Some of what this hippie was saying blew my flippin’ mind. But the Baptist church was so traditional that it seemed like everyone was going through the same old motions they’d done a million times. The spiritual juices had dried up centuries ago. It seemed like ALL tradition even the preacher’s sermon.

I eventually went to a Pentacostal church. These people brainwashed me. I got the “holy ghost” and it was all over. I actually had a spiritual experience. It was like a shot of energy through my body. It reminds me of the song we used to sing, “its like fire shot up in my bones.” I was witnessing to other kids, reading my bible everytime I got the chance. I stopped watching T.V. for a while, I would fast, pray consistently and I stopped cursing for a very long time. Needless to say, those days are gone. According to all my old Pentacostal friends, I am the worst kind of sinner, a backslider. According to them, not only am I going to hell, it’ll be like a cop going to prison.

In the end it was the denominational thing the pushed me away. You see, every sect (denomination) of christianity (i.e. baptist, penocostal, jehova’s witness) believes that all the other will go to hell. So who is right? Further more, what about the billions on Earth who have never even heard of Jesus? Will they go to hell? I guess I just have to many questions to retain a dogmatic view of the world.

The last thing I did as a traditional christian (non-denominational) was street preach. I did that at about 15 with some other insane christians. We went to the most decayed part of Lodi, CA right in the middle of about fifty homeless and start preaching. I was scared out of my mind. Not of the homeless but of giving a sermon. I don’t even recall what I said, but I’m sure it was bullshit.

The first real doubt about the current state of christianity came to me via a book called Holy Blood, Holy Grail, by Micheal Baigent, Richard Leigh, and Henry Lincoln. This book is about Jesus being married to Marry Magdalene and having kids (which by the way is the premise of the Da Vinci Code, by Dan Brown). I don’t know whether this is true or not but the mere mention of this sent tears rolling down my eyes. It wasn’t so much the idea of Jesus being less than a pure God as much as it was the culmination of everthing else that I had read. I’d been reading about the beginings of what is today called Christianity.

I read about how the Roman Catholics set everything up by streamlining the bible (about 100 A.D. there were many sects of followers of Jesus one was Irenaeus who had the ear of the Romans) and burning books and killing whatevery they considered heretical, the nag hammadi, the truth behind christmas and Easter (superimposed over pagan religious holidays which traditional christians oppose). Today, this is just interesting facts but back then it was like someone ripped out my heart. I started to wonder what else was a lie…

At 16-18, I started expanding into other traditions, philosphies and religions. I looked into buddhism, vedic texts, Upanishads, Immanuel Swedenborg, theosophy. I even looked at a book on Satanism (living life via complete selfish ego… fuckin’ crazy). I just wanted to know what was going on and began to feel that there was a connection between all of them.  Some thread of truth stringing them all together.
When I was about 17 or 18, my cousin introduced me to Eckankar. The first book I saw was called, the Far Country, by Paul Twitchell. The cover is something I will NEVER forget. It was a painting of Paul on a mount Everest peak at the feet of a spiritual master who was pointing the way. Just the picture alone brought tears to my eyes. It was freedom. The freedom to come and go beyond the trappings of this world. I dove in with both feet. It had some amazing experiences, dreams and met some wonderful people. Once again my belief was shook. I started hearing that some old master named Darwin Gross that had been kicked out. Then I kept stumbling upon some dude named David Lane who REALLY, REALLY seemed to hated Eckankar. I wonder why. Honestly, I probably would have writen him off as a lunatic if it hadn’t been for Eckankar trying to sue him.

After reading as much as I could stand of what he had to say, I was done with Eckankar and the entire “new age” movement. Basically, what I learned was that most (if not ALL) Eckankar and “new age” movements were almost exact replicas of what religions and spiritual lineages in India. I knew this about most of the new agers, but some of the plaigerism is so bad its hilariously sickening. (check out Path of the Master, by Julian P. Johnson)

Having spent most of my 20′s in the military in spiritual limbo, I am now in my 30s.  I am not willing to throw out the teachings of Jesus just because some organizations have tried to subjugate people for power.  Nor am I willing to toss out the source material on which Eckankar was founded. I’ve learned a lot from both organizations. They have served their purpose as pointers to something greater.  For a while, I was very bitter about religions and their negative affect on people, but the positive affect can’t be understated.  Religion (in my oppinion) is an amazing guide for humanity toward something that is infinite and will always remain unmanifest.  Religions is not really at fault, for every word that seeks to explain and every form that seeks to imitate the infinite is a lie because it is so beyond anything that we can express as finite beings.
Lately, my goal has been to connect everything I’ve learned into on cohesive map pointing to truth. What I have found is the rosicrusian order and the Ken Wilber’s studies on integral spirituality.  The ultimate lesson I learned in what is now a 22 year journey can be summed up in what I once heard Bruce Lee say,

“Don’t think…FEEL. It is like a finger pointing to the moon. Do not concentrate on the finger or you will miss all that heavenly glory…you understand?”
I have gotten so caught up in forms, organizations and dogma that I lost track of what these forms were pointing to.  So I’ve given up those trappings and in that way I’ve returned to my early childhood of just listening and feeling the truth within.

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